Gloomy Summers

――你为什么来驾驶零号机?
――因为――羁绊。
――羁绊?和我爸爸吗?
――是和大家的。
――你真坚强。
――除了坚强,我一无所有。
――――《EVA》

    或者可以说这是命运,或者可以说这些冥冥中自有天意,或许我们曾扬言要扼住命运的咽喉,最后不过是被命运扼住了咽喉。即使用科学的方法来审视,得出的结论不过是由于蝴蝶效应的连锁反应而造成了今日的种种结果。
    走不开,逃不掉,注定会踏入这个无底的深渊。当年豪言壮志立下誓言苟富贵无相忘,今日看来此乃等等年少轻狂之词,在岁月的洗刷后不是像美酒越陈越香,而是如同普通菜肴一般,放着放着,就变馊了。
    当然有想过或许可以出淤泥而不染濯清涟而不妖,可惜最后只会是和众人一般把赏牡丹罢了。然而悲哀的是,盛唐之士把赏牡丹是众人之调,而今日是我们小圈子里之徒热衷于庸俗而大范围之者并非如此。最后我们要从小圈子走进大范围中,难道应该带着这些庸俗无能与大范围之众人拼斗吗?
    思考过很久,自当知道应该奋进应该前行,然而裹足的淤泥又怎么能说摆脱就能摆脱?
    因此,仍然没有答案。
    先送自己一首歌

I know, I know I've let you down
I've been a fool to myself
I thought that I could
live for no one else
But now through all the hurt and pain
Its time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything
So with sadness in my heart
I feel the best thing I could do
is end it all
and leave forever
whats done is done it feels so bad
what once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
my world is ending

I wish that I could turn back time
cause now the guilt is all mine
can't live without
the trust from those you love
I know we cant forget the past
you can't forget love and pride
because of that, it's kill in me inside

It all returns to nothing
it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down
tumbling down

It all returns to nothing
I just keep
letting me donw, letting me down
letting me down

in my heart of hearts
I know that I called never love again
I've lost everything
everything
everything that matters to me
matters in this world

I wish that I could turn back time
cause now the guilt is all mine
can't live without
the trust from those you love
I know we cant forget the past
you cant forget love and pride
because of that, it's kill in me inside

It all returns to nothing
it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down
tumbling down
It all returns to nothing
I just keep
letting me donw, letting me down
letting me down

It all returns to nothing
I just keep
letting me down, letting me down
letting me down

    我知道,是我让你失望了,我真是个傻瓜,我以为我可以不为任何人而活。但现在,经历过这些痛苦和折磨后,我是时候该明白,所爱的人无比重要。于是,我知道我最应该做的事,就是结束一切,然后永远离开。所做的一切已经如此悲凉,曾经的快乐已经成为悲哀。我永远不会再去爱,我的世界就此终结。
    真希望,我能让时间倒退。因为现在错都在我,我已经离不开所爱之人的信任。我知道,我们不能遗忘过往,你也不能忘记爱与荣耀。正因如此,我想起那句话,哀莫大于心死。
    内心的深处,已经不会再有爱。我已经失去了一切,对于我,对于我的世界有意义的一切。

    再给自己送一首歌
Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark,
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart,
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain,
Melodies of life - love's lost refain.

Our paths they did cross, though I cannat say just why.
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye.
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told ?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold.

In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me.
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name.

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds - forever and beyond.

So far and way, see the birds as it flies by.
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky.
I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings.
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings.
In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me ?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leave me behind ?

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying bird - forever and on.

If I should leave this lonely world behind,
Your voice will still remember our melody.
Now I know we'll carry on.
Melodies of life,
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts, as long as we remember.

    一直孤单地在黑暗中寻寻觅觅,寻找着你在我孤独的内心深处留下的痕迹。我捡起那些碎片,想到,如果生命是一段旋律,那么爱便是其中的副歌吧。
    我们相互相遇却不相见,我说不出原因。而在相见后,一同度过开心的时光后,我们很快地走在一起,然后又很快地说再见。这段不曾诉说的故事,有谁会听过?让它们一起回荡,然后随着时间慢慢消逝吧。
    记忆的最深处,我依稀感到你在向我走过来。现实中,你已经走了,但我却依旧相信你会惦挂我。
    昔日的那个声音,应该会将你和我联通一起吧。这就是生命乐章中的和声,超越千里之遥的天空,永远回荡。
    看看远在天边的鸟儿,自由自在地穿梭过云彩。我把我的记忆与梦,放到那些滑翔的翅膀中,看看到了明天它们会带来什么。在你记忆的最深处啊,是否还记得曾经爱过我呢?或许那是善意的谎言,让我们走到了一起,然后又留下,自己悄然离开?
    如果我离开这个孤独的世界,你的声音,应该能让我想起我们的旋律吧。我知道,我们要坚持下去。这就是生命的旋律,烙印在我们内心的深处,永远了不会让人忘却。

    知道继续走下去,只有死路一条时,是应该提前放弃一切,给自己挖个坟墓,写个墓碑,留下一段墓志铭,然后安详地躺进墓穴中……吗?或许我们有另外一种选择……呢?与其说是选择,其实已经成为注定。

4 comments

  1. 蚊子 says:

    啊丫``孤独``寡不敌众``看来真是很郁闷茫然无奈呢~有一首歌比较适合此情此景``你细细听呐```
    http://www.520music.com/play/105929.htm

    dad day by Daniel Powter
    Where is the moment we needed the most
    You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
    They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
    They tell me your passion's gone away
    And I don't need no carryin' on

    You stand in the line just to hit a new low
    You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
    You tell me your life's been way off line
    You're falling to pieces everytime
    And I don't need no carryin' on

    Cause you had a bad day
    You're taking one down
    You sing a sad song just to turn it around
    You say you don't know
    You tell me don't lie
    You work at a smile and you go for a ride
    You had a bad day
    The camera don't lie
    You're coming back down and you really don't mind
    You had a bad day
    You had a bad day

    Well you need a blue sky holiday
    The point is they laugh at what you say
    And I don't need no carryin' on

    You had a bad day
    You're taking one down
    You sing a sad song just to turn it around
    You say you don't know
    You tell me don't lie
    You work at a smile and you go for a ride
    You had a bad day
    The camera don't lie
    You're coming back down and you really don't mind
    You had a bad day

    (Oh.. Holiday..)

    Sometimes the system goes on the blink
    And the whole thing turns out wrong
    You might not make it back and you know
    That you could be well oh that strong
    And I'm not wrong

    So where is the passion when you need it the most
    Oh you and I
    You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

    Cause you had a bad day
    You're taking one down
    You sing a sad song just to turn it around
    You say you don't know
    You tell me don't lie
    You work at a smile and you go for a ride
    You had a bad day
    You've seen what you like
    And how does it feel for one more time
    You had a bad day
    You had a bad day
    我们最需要好运的时候它在哪里
    你踢起地上的落叶 魔法消失了
    你告诉我你蔚蓝的天空渐已灰暗
    你告诉我你心中的热情也已冷淡
    而我不必再去坚持

    站在情绪低谷的边缘
    你强装微笑 品着咖啡
    你告诉我你的生活已背离常轨
    你每一次都会摔得粉碎
    而我不必再去坚持

    你这一天很糟糕
    情绪也很低落
    唱首悲伤的歌 很快就会雨过天晴
    你说你茫然不知所措
    你告诉我别说谎
    你挤出一个微笑然后去上班
    你这一天很糟糕
    相机不会说谎
    但你会恢复过来 你也不会真的在乎
    你这一天很糟糕

    有时候系统也会失控
    一切都变得很糟糕
    你或许无法挽救但你知道
    你会好好生活并依然坚强
    哦 我说的没错

    当你最需要激情的时候它在哪里
    噢 你和我
    你踢开地上的落叶 魔法消失了

  2. 蚊子 says:

    啊呜``孤独`无奈`伤感``蚊子也送你一首歌~~很适合此情此景`听啊……歌里有偶们要的安慰~~mtv也很棒
    http://www.520music.com/play/105929.htm
    bad day
    Where is the moment we needed the most
    You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
    They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
    They tell me your passion's gone away
    And I don't need no carryin' on

    You stand in the line just to hit a new low
    You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
    You tell me your life's been way off line
    You're falling to pieces everytime
    And I don't need no carryin' on

    Cause you had a bad day
    You're taking one down
    You sing a sad song just to turn it around
    You say you don't know
    You tell me don't lie
    You work at a smile and you go for a ride
    You had a bad day
    The camera don't lie
    You're coming back down and you really don't mind
    You had a bad day
    You had a bad day

    Well you need a blue sky holiday
    The point is they laugh at what you say
    And I don't need no carryin' on

    You had a bad day
    You're taking one down
    You sing a sad song just to turn it around
    You say you don't know
    You tell me don't lie
    You work at a smile and you go for a ride
    You had a bad day
    The camera don't lie
    You're coming back down and you really don't mind
    You had a bad day

    (Oh.. Holiday..)

    Sometimes the system goes on the blink
    And the whole thing turns out wrong
    You might not make it back and you know
    That you could be well oh that strong
    And I'm not wrong

    So where is the passion when you need it the most
    Oh you and I
    You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

    我们最需要好运的时候它在哪里
    你踢起地上的落叶 魔法消失了
    你告诉我你蔚蓝的天空渐已灰暗
    你告诉我你心中的热情也已冷淡
    而我不必再去坚持

    站在情绪低谷的边缘
    你强装微笑 品着咖啡
    你告诉我你的生活已背离常轨
    你每一次都会摔得粉碎
    而我不必再去坚持

    因为你这一天很糟糕
    情绪才会低落
    唱首悲伤的歌 很快就会雨过天晴
    你说你茫然不知所措
    你告诉我不要说谎
    你挤出一个微笑然后去上班
    你这一天很糟糕

    相机不会说谎
    但你会恢复过来 你也不会真的在乎
    你这一天很糟糕
    你这一天很糟糕

    你需要一个阳光明媚的假日
    可他们却嘲笑这种说法
    而我不必再去坚持

    你这一天很糟糕
    情绪也很低落
    唱首悲伤的歌 很快就会雨过天晴
    你说你茫然不知所措
    你告诉我别说谎
    你挤出一个微笑然后去上班
    你这一天很糟糕
    相机不会说谎
    但你会恢复过来 你也不会真的在乎
    你这一天很糟糕
    你这一天很糟糕

    有时候系统也会失控
    一切都变得很糟糕
    你或许无法挽救但你知道
    你会好好生活并依然坚强
    哦 我说的没错

    当你最需要激情的时候它在哪里
    噢 你和我
    你踢开地上的落叶 魔法消失了

    你挤出一个微笑,你或许无法挽救但你知道 你会好好生活并依然坚强

  3. 蚊子 says:

    啊呀~~~讨厌死啦``臭屁服务器啊~害偶弄了好几遍``偶以为不会有了呢~`每次都说有非法的东东``吼吼……快点删掉多余的咯~连同这条……

    1. creke says:

      何必呢~就当立此存照咯……

      最近博客有点年久失修的感觉……

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